3 Question to Make Conversations Easier
R3 I guardianmarketing.substack.com I ExperienceR3.com
If you find yourself in a position where your business, in one way or another, needs you to be having conversations with people, you might discover a little bit of resistance in starting those conversations.
Sometimes this surfaces as a desire for perfectionism.
A need to know how the entire conversation is going to go. A belief that you need a script in order to get the outcomes that your business needs from the conversations.
Sometimes it's just pure uncertainty/fear.
Not knowing what to say. Not knowing how to say it. Believing that there are certain things you need to say in a certain way in a certain order to get the outcome you need from the conversation.
As always,
There are a million and one different ways to do something. But the form is not as important as the function.
So let's take a step back from the form - which might be a series of questions you'll ask, a structure for an interview, a strategic step by step towards a specific outcome ...
And instead think about all these conversations as just what they are.
Conversations with other people.
Nothing more, nothing less.
If you go into a conversation with the honest point of view that you want to be of service in the best way possible for the unique person in front of you ... then you can't go into that conversation with a predetermined set of paths and outcomes.
This is hard to reconcile if your goal with conversations is to sell.
Which is why I like to change my perspective.
A conversation to me is an opportunity.
To be curious.
To learn.
To be of useful.
And if I do my job well enough, it certainly can be an opportunity to help someone become a customer.
Today,
I'm going to give you 3 questions you can ask which can completely change the conversation dynamic.
Both in terms of the depth and quality of the conversation, AND in terms of your own uncertainty and potential mental or emotional blocks in approaching a conversation.
We're going to lean into a couple dynamics - shutting out fear by turning into curiosity, and changing 'why' into 'what.'
This is just a start,
But with these questions in your toolbox, you can enter any conversation with anyone and if the opportunity to lead them to a sale arises, you'll be able to much more naturally get there.
These are each ways to organically navigate any conversation, so you can approach any business convo with ease and always get what you want or need out of it.
1 - "did you give up on X?"
This is straight from Chris Voss1. In many ways a kind of shift on the 9-word email2 (which is typically "are you still looking for x?").
There are a few layered reasons why "did you give up on" is so effective, but one of the most useful in regular conversation is simply that by asking this question, you are giving the person you are speaking with permission to say no.
A lot of times people's reticence to have a conversation is they are used to getting shut down, shut out, or ignored. They are used to no being a bad answer.
You can show them in one quick interaction that not only is it OK to say no, but you'll actually listen to them.
"Did you give up on weight loss?"
"NO!"
"Ok cool. What are you doing for that?"
And then just have a conversation.
2 - "what do you love about what you do?"
This is another Chris Voss, and a question which is shockingly powerful. Even knowing how good of a question this is, I still find myself having conversations with people I never would have expected. (See To Live a Beautiful Life3 for an example)
You might wonder what place this question has in a possible sales conversation. Well, for one, I'd encourage you to rethink your conversations away from the outcome you desire ... if someone is just a sales opportunity to you, that's going to limit your perspective.
But second, opening up the conversation for the other person to speak about what they love is going to give you a much more enlightening perspective on how you can best serve them.
And third ...
People will care about you if you care about them.
People do business with those they know like and trust.
So,
Spend the time to make a connection and learn something deeper about who they are - the result will compound in your business in ways you can't predict or measure.
3 - "what thing happened which led you to speaking to me?"
This is identifying the inflection point (in the hero's journey, this is the catalyst which begins momentum in the 1st act towards transformation).
This is one of my personal favorites. I find most people seem surprised by the question, most often because they just haven't thought about it before. But I have always discovered something useful and insightful from people when they start telling me the story of what it was which tipped them along the path of finding me.
Sometimes it even illuminates the fact that they don't even need to be talking to me! Which is a great and useful discovery for all involved.
But it also almost always shows me what it is they are really trying to solve or figure out - the deeper why behind it all - and that is a *much* different conversation to have, and personally I find it far more useful when it comes to possibly selling something to someone.
Some final thoughts
Think about changing your relationship with prospect conversations from being an interview, from being a 'process' through which you try to figure them out and move them forward ...
And instead shift it to be about just having a real personal conversation where, if the opportunity presents itself, you'll provide helpful guidance and understanding ... and where, if that guidance and understanding is appropriate, could very well be a step towards working with you.
This is just the tip of the iceberg.
In The Cash Now Blitz Bundle4 you'll discover several more very useful questions and frameworks you can use to approach conversations you have with prospects.
The Flash Roll question in particular is almost like a superpower when it comes to changing the dynamic in a conversation with someone to be much more enjoyable and useful (and profitable) for all involved.
The Cash Now Blitz Bundle is available to MBD+ subscribers below:
Be Useful. Be Present. Love the Journey.
Joseph Robertson, CMO Man Bites Dog
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